Dark Domain
by trapt-tage
Summary: Oneshot. The world, he thinks, would be a much better place if the emotions weren't included. Riku now knows the answer to a better existance. And he has the Math to back it up.


Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

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Were life to be based purely on Logic, would we, as humans, run into all the same trials we run into now? Are not the many problems we encounter throughout life due to the emotions of either ourselves or others? If life were based on logic, would we be consulting our feelings to make decisions? Or would we just make decisions based on what would our reasoning said? I figure if life were completely based on logic, the only thing I could compare it to is a math problem. Math is not something that you need to hassle with hidden emotions or ulterior motivation to understand. To solve a math problem, you simply need reasoning. Simple logic.

Here I sit, in this dark world, knowing not enough to wander about, but too much to stay put. In this place, everything is the opposite of what it should be. It is as if this is the negative of the real world, which has been discarded behind sealed doors. And yet, in all the unsteadiness of change and difference, I have found that one thing still remains the same and in tact. Logic.

Logic is the key to survival here; it is the only thing I understand in this darkness, and the only thing I could bring with me from my past life to help me. In this darkness, the logical thing is still to run from your enemies. The logical thing is still to fight for your life. Logic, I've found, can and will transcend the barriers of such dimensions as this. In a time of such trials as this, and a time of even greater errors such as this, I have learned that, unless I guard my thoughts carefully, they start to change. They start to mutate. I start to lose control of my own mind. I start to think things that I've never thought before, and it isn't something easily escaped.

I have learned that the only real thing that I can depend on is, not emotions, not stealth, not wit, not even _sanity_, but Logic. Because in all this swirl of black, Logic has yet to leave my side. In times of doubt, it will walk beside me and hold my hand until I have found the answer.

It is because of this that I have come to trust this sole instinct of mine. This lone, voice in the back of my head, honed to be heard the loudest. And because of this, I think of life as math problems. It would be much better if life were nothing but a series of consecutive math equations, for even if you got forgot your place, or even if you have never solved such a problem before, if you use Logic, it will all solve itself.

Some people - yes, I have yet to forget how the majority thinks - may think that this may take away from life. That this way make life cold, callous, and monotonous. They may say that, while emotions cause trials, they also bring color and happiness to the world. Not to say that I'm not willing to consider such things, but quite honestly, I'm living in a world of nothing but black. Black is not even color itself. Black is simply the term used to describe the _lack of color_, just as cold is simply a term used to describe a lack of heat. I'm sorry, but in the world of absolutely _nothing_ that I live, and at a time when I'm starting to forget what some of those bright colors are, I must say, that I couldn't give a damn about bringing _color_ to the world.

But in an effort to look at this from each side of the argument, I will honor the mindset of the majority, and prove that a logic-oriented existence would be much better, using other points other than color.

Think about this. The Algebraic Domain. The definition of the domain is all real numbers, except the number that will set the denominator equal to zero. Okay, so that doesn't mean much to the average stranger, but think about it. I for one think that the concept is interesting. If 1 is the denominator, then the Domain is all real numbers except -1. Because -1 plus 1 equals zero. And what does anything divided by zero equal? Well, no one knows. It's undefined. It's the never ending mystery. Maybe it's not as interesting to you, but I find 0, and domains, and concepts so interesting. It's all Logic.

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The Problem?

1

x + y

1 is a very solitary number. In fact, there is not more solitary a number than 1, for 2 has more of its kind, and 0 has nothing at all. 1 is surely the most solitary, and lonely number. 1 must be the coldest, most callous number, for being alone in isolation will do that.

'x' is a variable, and it is used to represent values that have not yet been given or found. 'y' is also a variable, and the purpose it serves is the exact same as the purpose served by the 'x' term. The difference in the variables shows that the values they represent are different.

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He really wasn't too bad a guy. I mean, if you think about it, none of it was his fault. While I can't say for sure whether he handled everything in the best way possible, I know for a fact that he handled everything better than I did.

He went on his gut emotion. Some of that might have even bridled on instinct. I don't know what I went on. I know that I based a lot of the decisions on emotion, but I can't say that they were the same kind of emotion that he was driven by. I think that's why he was able to do the right thing, and follow the right path. I think that's perhaps why he succeeded, and I, perhaps, have not.

In reality, my emotions blinded me, and it's only the sickest form of irony that I realize this when I am literally blinded in the utter darkness. There was no light for me to see by then, for I had ignored it then. There is no light for me to see by now, because the doors are sealed, and there is no light alive in a place like this. Had I seen what was right in front of me back then, then perhaps I would have stopped the train I was on before it ran its way this far off track. Maybe I would have been able to go back and fix my errors, and perhaps I would have realized that it _was_ worth it to admit that I was wrong. Maybe I would have conceded. At least to him I would have.

In the confidentiality of only him, perhaps I would have been strong enough to admit that I was weak, and brave enough to tell him that I had been a coward. But these are all 'maybe's and 'perhaps.' There is no way of knowing. Because back then I was fueled by emotion. Now I am fueled by logic, and looking at my decisions from a logic standpoint, I can't help but cringe and shed a few tears for what I did to him. Cry a little for what I did wrong. Sob a bit each time, and pray that that will be enough to justify me when end comes to end and, I have no path left but the spiral down.

And I cry alone. Because it's only right that I am kept away from those that I cause harm to, and those that did nothing but try to help me. To become a demon is a hellish act in itself, and to aide a demon could also be counted as a sin, so I judge it an act of God that I be placed here, away from any and all, in hopes of ending the evil. And so with the evil gone from me, I sit alone in the darkness I can't even see, it's so dark; and sometimes I cry, sometimes I think. And sometimes I do math. Because…it's just the Logical thing to do.

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Riku

x + y

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She was the witch that everyone had said she was. She was just as hollow a demon as any of the beasts that had been below her. She had thought that she was wise, and that she could so easily control what was actually controlling her. With an iron fist, no less.

She thought that she had found herself an honest little boy, whose heart would easily be corrupted, and whose mind was easily fooled. She was right, if I remember correctly. She thought that she could use me as a tool to get for her what she was unwilling to get for herself. And that's what I did. I did her dirty work, and with a smile on, too. But see, it changed there at the end. I guess you could compare our interactions to as if we were playing a game of chess. Each move we made was made by carefully tip-toeing around the other's back, and silently reaching our arms out to stealthily take another piece from the board. I was always good at chess - it was a game of logic, how could I not be? I guess that you could say I won that game. After all, the 'Queen's Sacrifice' is not a move that's been known to lose.

So yes, I will take some of the blame. I'm being honest (can't you already hear it in my voice?), I know that I made mistakes, and I know that I was responsible for her death. But was it without reason? Was it without cause? Come now, how logical would it be to take lives without justification? Not very logical at all, I'd say. Now, I can't say I miss her, and I can't say I ever soon will, but I know that what she did still has an affect on me.

She was cold and calculating. Not logical and calculating, for you can't try to use the darkness like she did and still think logically, but she was most definitely calculating. She abused me. She misused me. She, of course, gotten bitten in the end for it, but she thought that she could control me as easily as she thought she controlled the rest of her chaotic world.

I doubt she saw betrayal coming, but what can I say when I was just the dog, biting back at the stick that struck me from behind my short leash? It was her own wily tongue and her hunger for control that caused the revolt. She had struck me down one too many times the first time she met me to ever hope for mercy after that.

She thought that she was sly, working behind the scenes, and thinking that no one noticed her pulling my strings like the puppet master she had never seemed to fully become. She made me move, and made me walk, and told me when to think, but soon enough I was moving and walking and thinking much too fast for her unskilled hands to yank my strings back. She had a sharp mind and a sharper tongue, but the problem was that I had a bitten tongue, a sharp mind, and an even sharper sword.

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Riku

x + Manipulation

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He was…I can't explain him. He thought so….Logically. Every thought that I shared with him was interlaced with Logic, Logic, Logic. Scientific reasoning; Arithmetical Logic. But it was all logic that made sense in his sick and twisted, warped and damaged way. He joined as a part of me, and I conformed to fit as a part of him, but when our thoughts conjoined it was…a perfect fit. He no longer let any emotion cloud him, and it showed me how I must think as well. He thought with logic that a normal human would strain to even realize existed. Every action was calculated, every movement was timed. He was doing things by such a logical timetable, that others might even call him 'illogical.' He was so organized, and so rational that it was nearly scary.

At first, he told me that I was perfect. I know he could feel how close the match was when we joined, and he would show it. He would tell me that my ideas were correct, or that I was 'smart as paint.' And it went downhill from there.

_His_ logic changed from _my _logic. He would tell me I was wrong. But then I would go back and check my work, and it was _all_ right. There were no errors. I would have known, because I was learning to think logically, and - logically - before you submit a solution as your final answer, you always check it, and re-check it. But I would check it and re-check it to the point that, by the time I was done, he had proceeded on without me, and disregarded the solution I had found and knew to be correct. And, logically, if he wasn't using the correct solution, than he was using the incorrect solution. And I knew it.

I rebelled. Multiple times. And he shook me so hard I shivered to my core, which was really _our_ core, because we were really one and the same. There was nothing I could do to escape it, but fight against it. 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em,' but I had started off by joining with him, and it was that very action that I now hang my head in shame for. I can say that I have no pride left, or that I have no right to hope for forgiveness, but of all things, I _must_ say that I am shamed.

So I tried to beat him. To regain anything - dignity; pride; control; any of it. I tried, and I tried _hard_. But in the end, he won out, throwing me to some dark corner of existence, hoping that I would never find my mind again. He had taken my body, and had left me with question after question. He had left me hopeless, helpless, and with a pocket full of sins that I wanted to keep hidden. And it was that quick. He utterly abandoned me. I was of no further use. Not to him; not to her; not to the others.

I was thrown into a holding tank for useless lives. I was casually tossed into a purgatory for pointless souls. And that's where I've stayed, being no use to anyone, no use even to myself. So I sit and I cry, and whine, and think…about math. Because that's what you do what you can't be used. You think Logically.

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Riku

Desuetude + Manipulation

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And the most logical thing of all, is that the denominator equals 0. Because the Domain of Manipulation is anything but Desuetude, and the domain for Desuetude is anything but Manipulation, but strangely, and sadly, and logically enough they cancel each other out, and the denominator equals 0.

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Riku

0

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And for those who think that a world controlled soley by logic and reason would be devoid of emotion, for those who believe that we, as humans, would turn into nothing but computers; I urge you to look at my math. There is emotion there. If you cannot see the emotion in the numbers and the letters, then you have already become a human calculator, and you are experiencing a DOMAIN ERROR. But for those of you who do see the emotion, you can check my math, it's all right, because…it's all logic.


End file.
